Juridical Showdown: The Law Professor's Battle Against Legally Blonde Brilliance

Legally Blonde is a movie that follows the Harvard Law School journey of Elle Woods,

who starts off as an intelligent but otherwise  superficial blonde from southern California.  

Have you wondered how much of the movie  accurately portrays law school life?

Today I will go through the legal parts of the  movie explaining what's real and what's fiction.

Hello lawlings. This is Professor Beau Baez.

My goal today is to provide you with my observations on Legally Blonde,

bringing over two decades of teaching experience at six law schools.

So without any further ado let's begin.

You are aware of how much fun we have been enjoying recently.

Yeah.

Well, Harvard is gonna be different. Law school  is a completely different world Elle, and I need to be serious.

Of course.

I mean, my family has high expectations of me.

Right.

I expect a lot from me.

I plan on running for office someday.

And you do realise that I absolutely endorse that, Warner?

Absolutely.

But the fact is, I need to quit playing around if I want to become a senator by the time I'm 30.  

Warner, I completely agree.

That's why I think it's time for us, Elle, pooh bear...

I think we should break up.

What!

I've given it some thought, and I believe it's the appropriate move.

You're breaking up with me?

I thought you were proposing?

Proposing?

Elle, if I want to be a senator, I should wed a Jackie rather than a Marylynn.

He is absolutely correct that law school's hard

the top law schools provide opportunities not  only in politics but also government, nonprofits,  

large law firms, the judiciary, and academia.

But getting into law school isn't enough.

The best opportunities go to those at the top of the class and that means minimizing outside commitments.

The unfortunate reality is that many marriages don't  survive law school let alone dating relationships.

Elle's Video Personal Statement

Hello, I'm Elle Woods, and in my admissions essay, I'll introduce myself to all of you at Harvard. 

why I'll be a fantastic attorney.

Being the president of my sorority has given me the ability to hold a room's attention and debate pressing matters.

I have noticed that our toilet paper is being switched from Charmin to generic by the maintenance workers.

Please raise your hands if you are against chafing. 

When I was in the law school admissions committee  there was a student who submitted a video essay.

I'm going to recommend against this  as there is a huge risk that it will backfire,

alienating some people on the committee.

Work on creating a great personal essay instead.

But if you do submit an optional  video essay make sure it's not you in swimwear.

And that's why I, Elle Woods, the class of 2004's future attorney, deserve your vote.

She does have a 4.0 from C.U.L.A. and on her LSATs, she scored a 179.

A fashion major?

We've never had one before, sir, and aren't we constantly seeking diversity?

Her list of extracurricular activities is impressive.

She was in a Ricky Martin video.

Clearly she's interested in music

She also created a collection of fake fur trousers for the charitable initiative of her sorority. 

She is both a philanthropist and a friend to animals, huh?

Elle Woods?

Welcome to Harvard.

Most admissions decisions are not made by the faculty but rather by the admissions department.

Faculty set policy and decide difficult cases such as students at the bottom of a law school LSAT and GPA range,

or students with legal problems, like a drunk driving charge.

And today expect to see women and  minorities on the faculty admissions committee.

With a 4.0 and a 175 Elle's application would  never have gone to the committee. 

Okay, welcome to law school.

This is the phase when we go around in a circle and each person introduces themselves briefly.

Let's start with you.

Uh, my name is David Kidney.

I have a PhD in biochemistry, a master's degree in Russian literature, and for the past 18 months, I've been deworming kids in Somalia.

Awesome what about you?

Hey, how you doing, I'm Enid Wexler.

I received a PhD in women's studies with a focus on military history from Berkeley.

And uh, last year I single-handedly organized the march for Lesbians against drunk driving.

Killer.

Thanks, good times.

Richard Mitchell, I received my Princeton degree first in my class.

I've an IQ of 187,

also claimed that Stephen Hawking plagiarised his book A Brief History of Time.  

from my fourth grade paper.

I never met any true geniuses in law school.

Now some very smart people and a few PhD's in  my class.

And the PhD's were actually kind of fun.

Regardless of where you go, you will suddenly  find that you are a small fish in a big pond.

This will be different for many of you, who were  at the top of your college class.

Suddenly there will be a lot of other bright people around  you.

Don't let that bother you but rather let your new friends challenge you so you can become the best you.

And guess what?

After finals you'll find out that someone who you thought was super  smart did not end up with one of the best grades.

First Day of Class

Learning a new language is a benefit of a legal education.

You'll learn how to get perspective on the world around you and to critically analyse your assumptions.

For the ensuing nine months, you will occupy the seat you choose.

And those of you in the front row ...

beware.

Some professors, including me, assign seats on  the first day of class,

and pass out a seating chart just like you see here.

If you're not sure what your professor will do, arrive early on that first day and pick your seat.

I recommend sitting towards the front of the class so you remain engaged.

The law is reason free from passion.

Do you know who spoke those epoch-making words?

Yes?

Aristotle.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Would you risk your life to get it?

I think so.

What about his life?

I don't know?

Well I recommend knowing before speaking.

Ahh, the eager student, who in law school lingo is called the gunner  because they are constantly raising their hand.

See how the professor tries to rattle him, causing  him to doubt himself.

Many professors do this not to embarrass but to help students develop  conviction.

Just a few days ago I was able to move one of my students from the correct answer to them saying they didn't know.

I would rather that a student exude error with confidence than a  correct answer with trepidation.

I'm going to presume that after reading pages 1 through 48, everyone is knowledgeable of subject matter jurisdiction.

Kicked out of Class

Who can tell us about Gordon vs Steele?

Let's make a call to a member of the hot zone.

Elle Woods.

Oh, um, actually um, I  wasn't aware that we had an assignment.

Oh. [laughing]

Vanessa Kensington, Do you consider Ms. Woods' lack of preparation to be acceptable?

No.

I don't.

Would you agree if I asked her to leave class and come back only when she was ready?

Absolutely.

The first day of class has required reading  and you should be prepared to answer questions.  

Professors deal with unprepared students in  different ways.

Booting someone out of class is very old school,

but i did have one colleague who  did it that way.

No one ever wanted to be kicked out of class, too embarrassing.

So students were always prepared.

By the way, for a professor to ask a student whether she should kick someone else  out of class is completely out of line,

and this is in the movie to add some drama to the storyline.

Along with fighting for the best grade in this class, you will also be vying for one of my firm's four highly sought-after internship positions the following year, where you will get to work on real cases.

Let the bloodbath begin.

The professor refers to his firm.

Under accreditation  rules a full-time law professor cannot be part of a law firm the rule is different for adjuncts but  in a first year class it would be very unusual to have anyone but a full-time faculty member  now let's commence with our usual torture

Socratic Dialogue

Would you rather have an innocent client or one who has committed a crime, Ms. Woods? I would prefer a client who has committed no crime.

dare to dream miss woods

Would you prefer malam prohibitum, Ms. Kensington, as that would have resulted in the customer breaking a rule? 

as opposed to a dangerous crime well done miss  kensington you've obviously done your homework  

now let us look at melon prohibitum a little  more closely it has been said yes mrs woods  

I had an epiphany. 

I choose the challenging one since I don't mind a struggle  

what the professor is really trying to get at is  whether the student bothered to look up these two  

latin phrases many students feel so overwhelmed  that they don't look up words they don't know  

so many professors will pick out those unique  words and ask students about them this means  

that you must look up all new words before class  it will be laborious at first but you'll start  

building your vocabulary i'm elle woods miss  bonafante's attorney and i'm here to discuss  

the legal situation at hand during law school  you might be tempted to provide legal advice  

don't do it one you really don't know that much in  law school to provide competent legal advice and  

two it's illegal if the bar finds out this could  cause problems with your application to become  

a lawyer after graduation well according  to swinney versus newbert swinney who was  

Additionally, a private sperm donor was given visiting privileges as long as he agreed to the visitation schedule. 

According to the guidelines provided by the parents,

Mr. Latimer wasn't stalking and had every right to request visitation. However, in contrast to Mr. Swinney, who had only donated once, the defendant in our instance had a history of sperm donation and was also pestering the child. 

the parents in his quest for visitation well  yeah but i mean without this man's sperm  

You're thinking like a lawyer, Ms. Woods, since the child in issue wouldn't exist. However, while Mr. Huntington makes a great argument, I have to wonder if the   

defendant kept a thorough record of every  sperma mission made throughout his life

interesting why do you ask well  

Unless the defendant made an effort to get in touch with every single one-night stand to find out if a kid was born as a result of those unions, he has no parental claim to this child at all.

i see your point and for that matter  all masturbatory missions where his  

It may be considered irresponsible abandonment if the sperm were plainly not looking for an egg.

i believe you've just won your case

ms woods you did well today this is the type  of discussion that goes on in american law  

school classrooms you are assigned to read  an appellate judicial opinion before class  

and then the professor  engages in a socratic dialogue  

sometimes as we see here a student  brings up a point that the professor has  

not thought about before it doesn't happen  often but it's always nice when it does happen

we're defending brook windham whose very  wealthy husband was found shot to death in  

their beacon hill mansion gold digger you'd think  so since the stiff was 60 but she was rich on her  

own some kind of fitness empire faculty let alone  faculty members who also have a high profile case  

would not have the time to bring an intern up to  speed this task would be given to a paralegal or  

maybe an associate it's about ferocity carnage  balancing human intelligence with animal  

Dedication being clear about what you want and being willing to go to great lengths to have it. Are you interested in me? You're a lovely lady, so what you just said makes sense.I'm a man who has his priorities straight.

and i'm a law student who just realized  her professor is pathetic [ __ ] there are  

professors who hit on their students either for  a short-term or long-term relationship this was  

tolerated in the past because the students were  adults but more and more law schools have created  

policies prohibiting dating relationships between  faculty and students due to the power imbalance

Elle in Court

First off, I want to emphasise that there is not just no evidence in this instance, but also a 

complete lack of men's react which by definition  tells us that there can be no crime without a  

vicious will i am aware of the meaning  of manzrea what i'm unaware of is why  

When you ought to be interrogating your witness, you're teaching me a vocabulary lesson.

yes your honor and this is exactly why law  students aren't allowed to try murder cases  

the lawyer's role is to ask the witness  questions not to state the law that being said  

judges do tend to be gentler with law students  recognizing that this is a learning experience  

Graduation

for them ladies and gentlemen i present the  graduates of harvard law school class of 2004.

i am personally very honored to introduce  

this year's class elected speaker after getting  off to a quite interesting start here at harvard  

She received an offer to join one of Boston's most prominent legal firms when she graduates today.  

firms i am sure we are going to see great  things from her ladies and gentlemen l woods

harvard law school graduates can  practice law anywhere in the country  

they don't have to stay in  boston unless they want to  

and as you look at that room far too small  for the graduates and all of their guests

it's highly unlikely that he  would have had no job offers  

we know that he comes from a politically  connected family this means getting hired  

at a firm that understands his connections  and potential to get elected to high

office overall this movie captures some of law  school's reality it's a fun movie and i recommend  

you watch it if you've never seen it before it  shows how someone can reach their full potential  

when they look for validation within  new videos every other wednesday so  

make sure to tune in so you can become  a better student and a better lawyer